Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."-Amy Bloom
Once upon a time a man and a woman met.
Fell in love.
Got married.
Were happy.
Had children.
Were even happier.
Then.
Stress no longer was part of their lives.
It ruled it.
Professional, financial, psychological and emotional.
Special needs, unmet needs and uncared needs.
Who are we they asked themselves?
Who am I? The wife asked herself.
Because no matter how much dedication a woman gives her man, her children and her friends...It's not enough.
That's what she thinks.
Then comes a little distraction which makes her feel alive again.
Not just alive.
Oh no.
Desired. Attractive. Interesting. Enough.
No need to work on anything.
No need to worry about being enough.
She feels listened to...Valued. But most importantly? Enough.
Maybe a little too much at times.
My guess is that when a woman never feels good enough at home, charming blue eyes can easily make it's way in.
After all, too much wins over not enough.
The truth is we all want to live happily ever after.
But to say, and believe, we are above the pits and falls of domestic routine is to lie.
Because once upon a time the man and the woman above had butterflies.
Had sparks.
Had eyes only for one another.
The divorce rates are scary.
Scarier than ever.
Some might say it's because people are lazy and don't want to work.
Some might say marriage is no longer sacred.
Others might even think it's just a Big sham.
But, we the ones who work hard, believe it is sacred and genuine, are committed.
Men might be from Mars.
And women from Venus.
Maybe.
But we all want to feel fireworks.
Man Candy will do that.
With no real pressure, no tantrums and all the time in the world.
No need for a babysitter, a scheduled date or time constraints.
Man Candy will listen. Nod his head. Even ask questions.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
Mothers are conditioned to believe that priorities, rules and routine are the only way.
Make everyone happy first.
Always.
The problem lies when a mother has put herself on a shelf too long...Not only does she become a clearance item at some point, but she can become THE cheap object of another's budget.
A budget that includes entertainment, hobbies and "other".
Having been on the shelf for too long, she can easily become a bargain item to someone while she was the most prized one all along...But didn't feel it.
Man Candy is just that.
Candy.
A potential harmful substance that can cause decay, an upset stomach and a serious crash.
To crash is not the end of happily ever after.
To crash is to learn, grow and move on.
After all...
For better or for worse was the promise.
And unlike candy, which gives you a temporary high, a promise holds your hand...Until The End.
Happily every after?
Maybe not.
But committed ever after?
I do.
Namaste xox
