Friday, May 25, 2012
It looks something like this:
You're finishing up your last load of laundry and as you are taking out the clothes out of your dryer, some still damp, some wrinkly, you can't seem to find all the socks you are pretty sure were loaded in the first place.
While you fold and put the last of the laundry in it's place you end up with a pile of mismatched socks. Lots of them.
White ones. Black ones. Polka dot ones. Batman, Spiderman and print ones.
In a pile.
Where did they go?
Getting back in a new routine of working outside the home while honoring your role of a domestic engineer can feel like the missing-socks-in-the-dryer routine.
The last 5 years finally seem to be behind (the not so good aspects of it) while the future promises a New Beginning.
A new Destination.
Perhaps a new Direction.
Like the dirty clothes that was washed, rinsed and spun; Old beliefs, fears and disappointments have been analyzed, worked through and conquered.
For the most part.
But just like the missing socks can leave you confused (where the hell do they go anyway?), the not-quite-there-yet missing routine can really leave you on a tail spin.
Morning coffee? On the go!
Working out? When you can!
Laundry? Here and there!
Home cooked meals? Steamers count right?
Keeping up with the Kardashians? Lokking forward to the end of the season Marathon!
But just like the missing socks, you work you way around it.
Just like you pile up the missing socks and find them one by one or just buy new ones, you find your groove again.
Besides...I have always been know for my mismatched socks ;)
Posted by Elissa at 8:35 PM
Friday, May 18, 2012
5 years ago Big Daddy and I thought we had been doubly blessed with 2 perfectly healthy boys.
What we didn't yet realize was how the next 5 years would also be blessed in Life Lessons.
Do what you can do not what you coulda, shoulda, woulda do.
From Breastfeeding to burping to sleeping, books and theories can lead us in one direction but sorry folks...Babies's unique needs wins.
And mummy and daddy's abilities and capabilities as well. Can't co-sleep? Don't. Unable to breastfeed? Don't. Can't let the babies cry it out? Don't do it. Find YOUR balance.
After 5 years I am now confident that this is ALL that matters.
It's ALL that matters. Quality trumps quantity on this one. It doesn't matter if you are at home full-time or part-time..What matters is when you are with your little ones, they know you are THERE. Don't let ANYONE ever make you feel guilty for not wanting to be by your babies 24/7...Love, after all, is what makes the world (and the home) go round.
EVERY child is different.
Some milestones will get hit in advance, others will be on time and some, like talking, will take a longgggg time.
Remember this: It is OK to be worried, ask questions, cry, vent, bargain with God and well...Kick and scream.
Remember YOU are your child's first teacher and advocate for what they NEED. YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILD NEEDS. If you are unable to give it to them (after all we aren't all speech therapists, special educators and occupational therapists) as you feel overwhelmed by it all...Don't be shy to ask questions and knock on some doors.
Milestones might look differently than "others"...And that is fine.
As every child is different...So is every mother.
Fun mothers, strict mothers, crunchy mothers, unsure mothers, confident mothers, easy going mothers, regimented mothers...The list is endless.
Mothers, like babies, come in all colors, shapes and sizes.
Once I stopped comparing myself to all the above and stopped being "The-self-help-book-theory-of-the-day-what-is-my-style-why-can't-I-be-that-kind-of- Mother" and looked at myself, really looked at myself, I saw a mother who is navigating this Journey with Love, sometimes screaming, but always THERE for my boys Mother.
When did it hit me? When the boys told me "You're a good mama...You're a funny mama". Funny mama? Good mama? Well then...I'll drink to that!(That's what fun mamas do ;)
Just when you thought you mastered all the lessons...Another one is around the corner.
Bigger and more complicated. This Journey is filled with bumps and curves and let's face it...Many, many Pit Stops. Pit Stops that can seem like never ending detours to Crazy Town.
The only strategy?
Use WHO you are, what YOU can do and how much your kids LOVE you as the GPS to the rest of your Journey...
Posted by Elissa at 8:08 AM
Saturday, May 5, 2012
After so much stress, uncertainty and plain exhaustion, we found ourselves at a crossroads.
One left turn and we were on our way of being a statistic.
One right turn and we were on our way, back.
Not to what we used to be.
Those people don't exist anymore.
Not to what we dream to be.
We aren't those people yet. But to the present.
A mother who is too hard on herself and a woman who is trying to be the Best she can be. Physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.
A father who always puts his children first and a man who is trying to be the Best he can be. Parents to wonderful twin boys who are always on the go. I mean always on the go.
Taking a deep breath and holding on tight to each other, we decided to take the right turn. First stop? Le therapist.
Second stop? Le date night.
Date nights are suppose to rekindle lost passion, re-establish the love connection between two spouses and let's face it...Bring sexy back.
How exactly are two over-tired-stressed-out-worried-anxious-frustrated-overwhelmed parents who still don't get regular sleep suppose to get it back?
Le therapist says fake it.
The energy and enthusiasm that is.
Then it's just like riding a bicycle...You get back on it.
Yet after years of what feels like endless threading in icy waters, the last thing I can do is fake anything.
So for now date nights are myths to me.
A fantasy I hope to fulfill.
And a raincheck...
Hope what they say is true... When it rains...It storms.
Posted by Elissa at 7:32 PM