Friday, May 18, 2012

5 Years...5 BIG lessons.


5 years ago Big Daddy and I thought we had been doubly blessed with 2 perfectly healthy boys.
What we didn't yet realize was how the next 5 years would also be blessed in Life Lessons.

Lesson #1
Do what you can do not what you coulda, shoulda, woulda do.

From Breastfeeding to burping to sleeping, books and theories can lead us in one direction but sorry folks...Babies's unique needs wins.
And mummy and daddy's abilities and capabilities as well. Can't co-sleep? Don't. Unable to breastfeed? Don't. Can't let the babies cry it out? Don't do it. Find YOUR balance.
After 5 years I am now confident that this is ALL that matters.

Lesson #2
Got Love?

It's ALL that matters. Quality trumps quantity on this one. It doesn't matter if you are at home full-time or part-time..What matters is when you are with your little ones, they know you are THERE. Don't let ANYONE ever make you feel guilty for not wanting to be by your babies 24/7...Love, after all, is what makes the world (and the home) go round.

Lesson #3
EVERY child is different.

Even TWINS.
Some milestones will get hit in advance, others will be on time and some, like talking, will take a longgggg time.
Remember this: It is OK to be worried, ask questions, cry, vent, bargain with God and well...Kick and scream.
Remember YOU are your child's first teacher and advocate for what they NEED. YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR CHILD NEEDS. If you are unable to give it to them (after all we aren't all speech therapists, special educators and occupational therapists) as you feel overwhelmed by it all...Don't be shy to ask questions and knock on some doors.
Milestones might look differently than "others"...And that is fine.

Lesson #4
As every child is different...So is every mother.

Fun mothers, strict mothers, crunchy mothers, unsure mothers, confident mothers, easy going mothers, regimented mothers...The list is endless.
Mothers, like babies, come in all colors, shapes and sizes.
Once I stopped comparing myself to all the above and stopped being "The-self-help-book-theory-of-the-day-what-is-my-style-why-can't-I-be-that-kind-of- Mother" and looked at myself, really looked at myself, I saw a mother who is navigating this Journey with Love, sometimes screaming, but always THERE for my boys Mother.
When did it hit me? When the boys told me "You're a good mama...You're a funny mama". Funny mama? Good mama? Well then...I'll drink to that!(That's what fun mamas do ;)

Lesson #5
Just when you thought you mastered all the lessons...Another one is around the corner.

Bigger and more complicated. This Journey is filled with bumps and curves and let's face it...Many, many Pit Stops. Pit Stops that can seem like never ending detours to Crazy Town.
The only strategy?
Use WHO you are, what YOU can do and how much your kids LOVE you as the GPS to the rest of your Journey...

Namaste xox

3 comments:

Amanda said...

Great Post and great life and mommy lessons. Glad to have found your blog from the Multiples linkup. You can follow me back @ http://thelittlelilypad.blogspot.com
Thanks!! Amanda

Olusola said...

Love, love, love this post and you are spot on. In the end, all the book theories go out the window and love trumps all.

Got your link from Multiples and more.

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Linking over from Multiples & More. So many great lessons you've noted, for sure. Our girls are almost 3 1/2, and there are many of these learnings I try to remind myself of regularly.

Happy 5th birthday to your boys! :) :)

And here's to learning more lessons...continuing to find our groove...along the way.