Thursday, March 22, 2012
A powerful A-Ha moment was experienced yesterday.
On my way to pick up the boys from the school bus I walked past my neighbor who was raking leaves with her daughter and her own grand daughter.
This little pink toed pink tutu wearing 3 year old ray of sunshine was helping with her own rake by making little piles and then of course partaking in a little "leaves" party herself.
When she would venture out too far, both grandma and great-grandma would say "Don't go too far! Stay with us!"...She listened.
Actually listened and would return to her hard work of starting all over again.
Instead of comparing my sons to this little girl, I just watched.
Instead of comparing myself to the experienced mothers (great grandma has 4 of her own and grandma has 3), I listened.
Then I remembered.
I remembered how much time, energy and enthusiasm I had once invested in what looked like a fun and simple outdoor activity that is raking leaves...With my own boys.
And how much I would cringe, worry and cry every time it was over.
Cringe because a simple 2 step direction like "Hold your rake this way and make a pile" was too complicated.
Worry because the rakes would somehow become weapons between the boys and running down the street, without stopping, was much more appealing to them.
And cry because after every simple outdoor activity such as raking leaves, gardening, washing the car or simply getting the mail would end up a disaster.
Not a learning experience.
But simply an unachievable positive experience that would make me feel like a failure.
A failure as a mom.
But yesterday was different.
I remembered creating visuals to facilitate the boys' success.
I remembered getting down to their own eye level before, during and after and explaining to them what the task was.
I remembered praising them for each little accomplishment that might make me look like one "those" moms.
The moms that say good job to pretty much everything while others predict this will only make their children feel superior to the world.
But when you are the mother of children who develop at their own pace, not typically, you hold on to these little accomplishments like an infant holds on to their pacifiers.
If you are a mom of children with special needs, no matter how mild, and find yourself feeling like a failure...Chances are You are NOT a failure.
Simple activities and tasks such as raking leaves, landscaping, putting up pictures on the wall or baking might make you feel this way when you never seem to successfully complete them, let alone start them.
The most important?
You are surviving them.
Posted by Elissa at 8:04 AM