Anatomy of a Binge.

Rough day.
So tired.
Depleted.
Anxious.
Overwhelmed.
Worried.
Frustrated.
Bitter.
I know I should be proud of how far they have come along. They are talking more. They are asking more questions. They love preschool. They even got invited to a friend's birthday party.
Yet.
Every time, every single time I read about how other's twins are saying this and doing that on FB, I get stabbed in the heart over and over again.
Part of me wants to high-five their adorable little ones for all their accomplishments.
The other part of me wants to scream on the top of my lungs "WHY? THIS ISN'T FAIR!"
Pretty soon all the feelings above are replaced by...Nothing.
A hole in my heart.
A hole in my Soul.
A hole I must fill.
And since I feel so alone these days, I fill the Void the only way I know how.
It starts off pretty innocently.
Just a bite. Just a handful. Just a piece. Just a spoonful.
Pretty soon the Beast is in full control and all that is left are wrappers, empty bags, ravaged containers...
The Beast's rampage can cost up to 2,000 calories...All in just minutes.
2,000 calories which were planned out and carefully distributed and burned trough the day.
To tame the Beast is what the struggle is about.
Not through restriction and the scale.
But through self-love, self-care and living mindfully.
The Beast can't strike when the Void is filled.

Namaste xox

Note: Originally posted on the Central Vermont's Biggest Loser Blog.

Second Note: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE NEVER, EVER FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR YOUR KIDS SUCCESS! I LOVE READING ABOUT THE FUNNY THINGS THEY SAY OR DO...This Blog is a way to express myself, my joys, my fears and my challenges...NOT to make ANYONE feel uneasy...If that happens, think of it as like anything else in Life...Some have more money...have better bodies...have less problems or more...No need to feel Guilty, rather feel Gratitude.