"It't not about the weight, but it's not NOT about the weight"
I am on a new Journey. A Journey into re-discovering my Self. Not a weight-loss race in which a specific number makes or breaks my spirit but rather a Journey in which my interest, my likes and my passions enhances my Spirit. So why do I weigh myself weekly?
Does this not contradict my efforts and negate the spiritual and emotional side of my Journey?
Part of me feels like a contradiction as I do not want to focus on what I am losing but rather focus on what I am gaining: Self-awareness, Self-love and Self-Care.
On the other hand, I am a human being. We, humans are behavioral creatures that thrive on rewards and punishment.
This Journey focuses on the rewards I am gaining as opposed to the pounds I am losing: The ability to identify my emotions and not reach for the bag of cookies.
It is not about the cookies.
It is about taking a deep breath when I feel out of breath, identifying my anger when I am angry, about dealing with boredom, about coping with sadness, about managing guilt, and about putting feelings of desperation in perspective.
It is about eating what I want to eat not wanting to shove the feelings down with foods I think will numb the pain.
It is about honoring my Self when all I want to do is stuff my Self.
It is about taking it one day at a time. One hour at a time. One meal at a time.
The scale is neither a Friend or a Foe...It is a barometer of my consciousness and ability to identify my Real Friend or Foe: Me.
Sometimes friends are supportive, caring and dependable. Sometimes friends disappoint, anger and sadness us....I am all of the above...And much more.