Perception vs Reality

"The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend."

ROBERTSON DAVIES, quoted in The Wordsworth Dictionary of Quotes

To some, words are letters and sentences that complete an ensemble of grammar.
To others, words are an escape, a revelation and even a breakthrough.
Words can soothe, comfort and inspire.
Words can also reduce, hurt and cause pain.
No two people are alike, therefore no two people read alike.
Words that can feel like a liberation for some, can make others feel emprisoned.
My perception and my reality should be the same, but they are not.
Not because I am dishonnest, nor twisted.
But because emotions, feelings and character are subjective when reality is objective.
Therefore my eyes can only see what I can let them see, comprehend and accept.
At times, my eyes have been shielded under a dark viser in the last 3 years and I have not been able to or wanted to lift the viser and see the sun.
Sure, there have been numerous glorious shinny days with not one cloud in sight.
There have also been numerous dark stormy days in which the thunder and lighting were so frightening, it crippled me.
My perception has made me feel deceived, rejected and judjed severly by some.
However, this same perception has also made me feel admired, respected and adored by others.
The reality seems to be that opinions, feelings, morals, values and thoughts make me who I am.
The perception of myself by others is therefore not a reality but another perception in itself...
A reality I forget...to perceive...
A bientot,
xoxo

The Feminine Mystique circa 2010

Dear friends,
The following is a quote from Betty Friedan who was one of the original feminists of our time...

"The feminine mystique has succeeded in burying millions of American women alive."

In her book,"The Feminine Mystique", Friedan researches why so many women of her generation were bored, depressed, angry and depleted by everyday life...This after the previous generation had been told they could do it all!!
Young women were now going to University to find a husband, perfecting the art of interior decorating, excelling as a chef and victoriously winning the viscious battle with...the Germs.
Although magazines such as Ladies Homejournal declared statements in the lines of "women have never been so fullfilled in their lives!", the American woman was annything but...
Psychiatrists prescribed Anti-Anxiety-depression medication and pain killers like never before...
Happy hour started before children's nap and would drag until after the kids were in bed...
The Domestic engineer could engineer her home(and make it look effortlessy)but was unable to engineer her own destiny...
Fast forward almost 50 years later...
The Supermom: She can get your whites brighter, make your floor shine, rock her husband's socks off (and sometimes can even rock the stripper pole to spice things up), help her children excell with homework, drive them to soccer, ballet or hockey practice (and even take other people's kids), be the powerfull CEO of a multi-million dollar company, earn her PHD part-time and she LOVES, LOVES, LOVES her life...
Really?
Am I the only one here who thinks we went from being the "happy suburban housewife" to an unrealstic Super Hero cartoon like version?
As a mom who stays at home full-time with my kids, works 1 or 2 days a week, is finishing her BA and only manages to vacuum and mop once a week and keep up with the laundry (folding is a whole other story!) I am here to admit this:
This is the hardest job of my life. Half the time I have no clue what the hell I am doing, the other half I either doubt myself or feel guilty and the isolation of being a home...The isolation can only be described as the morning fog which evaporates in the morning. Sometimes the fog clears up early in the day and you are ready to go, but sometimes it can take so long to lift you know you will be late for work...or stalled at home...
All that said, when comparing with some of the 50's domestic engineers, I am doing just fine...
I dont numb myself with alcohol or prescription drugs to face my day nor my kids. I try to respect myself as a mother and a wife by keeping true to myself and allowing myself to make mistakes. I dont eat the children's crumbs for lunch. I dont obsess over what matches, sparkles or doesn't. I know this is the harderst part of my life that will get easier with time, experience and a little more freedom (hello...preschool?). I know this is not IT.
I leave you with another quote and urge every woman who reads my blog to get your own copy of Betty Friedan's Feminine Mystique,

"Each suburban wife struggled with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffered Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night — she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question — "Is this all?" "

A bientot,
xoxo

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. ~Author Unknown

Good Morning,

Most of us have all been lucky enough to enjoy one or a couple...
Sometimes it is short, sometimes it is long...
Sometimes it leaves us wanting more, sometimes it satisfies our needs...
Sometimes it leaves us cranky, sometimes it leaves us rejuvinated...
Sometimes we need it to recuperate...
But sometimes we use it to escape...
The Nap.
I have always been a napper. It started out innocently in college between classes and extra-curricular activities then evolved between work and a very active social life.
My love affair with it peeked when I became a mom who realized the dishes, the floor cleaning, the laundry folding and everything else could wait...I needed to rest between my early first shift which started at 4:30 am and the second shift which usually ended around 7:30 p.m.
Eat lunch, read a couple of books to the twins, tuck them in, clean the kitchen, then lie down with a good book and let the nap fairy take over...
But like any love affair, what started out as pure bliss turned into something else...
First, the post-nap grogginess...
Then, the post-nap crankiness...
And of course, the "why did I nap today for 2 and half hours??? I cant sleep!!"
But the worst part, of course, would be the nagging guilt of indulging in a nap...
Wasn't I a domestic enginneer?
What if people knew I engage in this afternoon ritual everyday and worse...
How much I look forward to it!
Which of course is uncalled for as everyone needs a small break...Call it my two 15 minute break and my lunch hour combined...We do live in a civilised country after all...!
All this said, something happened during our trip to Las Vegas...
The boys started getting up later and later which means my days no longer would start before the birds would chirp and surprise surprise...I didnt need a nap!!
Like a toddler who outgrows her afternoon ritual, I too am ready to ditch my comfort zone.
Just hope the boys dont outgrows theirs just yet...
After all everyone needs a Break ;)
xoxo

Welcome 2010!

Good morning!

New year...New dreams, hopes, goals and a new journey begins!
Let's take a look back...
2004...was all about engagement, wedding, moving to the states!
2005...was all about being a newlywed, creating a new professional and social netweork here in Vermont and buying our first home!
2006...was all about Australia, clebrating my 30's and making a baby ;)
2007...was all about pregnancy, pregnancy and welcoming the twins!
2008...adjustement, adjustement, adjustement!!!
2009...Going back to work part-time, going back to school and coming to terms with being a "good enough mother"!
2010...
Rekindling the old flame in our mariage
Being the best mom to the boys I can be
Being the best friend I can be
Being the best daughter, step daughter, aunt, cousin, niece, sister&daughter in law I can be
Finishing my BA
Finally losing my baby weight through Jazzercise, journaling, OA and being present and conscious...
Presence and conciousness...
2 key ingredients of this recipe called life that bring balance and stability to any flavor!
2010 brought many changes and I am gratefull for them all...
Some positive, some negative...all life changing.
I wish everyone a Healthy, Happy and Simple 2010!
a Bientot,
xoxo